Talking to girls in public places can seem like a scary thing to do, especially if it is something you are not used to doing. But talking to girls is a learned skill, just like learning how to snow board, ride a bike, or play your favorite video game. The first time you do something, it is always uncomfortable because your brain is not used to do it. Then, the more often you do it the easier it becomes.

I will never forget the first time I tried talking to girl at school. It took me days to work up the courage to talk to a cute girl named Mary Ann. I was only ten years old at the time, but I had already learned how to be afraid of rejection. I learned it from watching television. I learned it from previous experiences. I also learned it from my friends. Looking back on it now, it all seems so silly and illogical, but most of us learn how to fear the feeling of rejection at a very early age. The good news is that you can unlearn it.

Here is a simple exercise that will illustrate how illogical fear of rejection is. If you need to ask another person for directions because you are lost you have no qualms about walking up to them and asking them where a certain place is. Even if they are too busy to help you or do not want to help you, you will forget about that interaction in a few seconds or a few minutes. Yet, when we want to talk to someone we are attracted to, we assign a whole different meaning to it. Even though in reality it is very much the same experience. Our brains our so powerful that they can trick us into thinking and/or fearing that we are about to get rejected.

So how does one actually talk to girls in public places?? It is a lot easier than you think.? Do not let your mind and social conditioning get in the way.? There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of ways to approach and talk to girls.? One way to approach them is to pretend, in your own mind, that you have known this stranger for years so you walk up to them naturally and comfortablely and start off with some kind of neutral opener.? It could something as simple as “hi” or “cool necklace, what’s the story behind it?” or “can you believe so-and-so died the other day?” or “oh my gosh, did you see that couple arguing outside?”

Neutral openers are great ways to start conversation because they are simply neutral.? For example, walking up to a girl and saying “you’re cute”?is not neutral.? Asking a girl what she honestly thinks about a certain topic can be considered neutral.? Since communication between two people is mostly non-verbal, how you ask something can be just as important, if not more so, then what you are actually saying.? I’ve started conversations by asking women if they preferred boxers or briefs.? I recently got a phone number from a girl by simply starting the conversation by asking her what she thought of the first lady’s dress she wore the other night. ?

If you want to learn how to talk to girls in public places such as coffee shops, book stores, shopping malls, super markets, or virtually any place where women are to be found, then you have to simply do one thing: practice.

By: Rod Cortez

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